My Wilderness

Wilderness to me is a deserted place. You’re all alone and memories of destruction surround you.

Love is beautiful they say but love is like a wilderness. It’s lonesome like you’re stranded on the highway with no cars incoming.

So you start walking till your feet become so sore. Then you start to wonder why you ever took the journey in the first place.

I try to explain that I’m not crazy that the voices in my head are real.

They sing tales of woe and remind me every day that love isn’t for me.

I never wanted to be number one in anyone’s life just somewhere on their list of people they love or even on the list of people important to them.

I love still I’m lonely, with no one to comfort me. I do not love and I’m still lonely with no one to comfort me.

No one ever loves me back.

I found peace but then it was stolen away from me, I found love but I was the only one in love.

I didn’t mean to say I love you. Confessing your love out loud is like surrendering yourself to the enemy. So if I could take back all the confessions of love I made, I would do it a thousand times.

I can’t be the only one stuck in a wilderness. I can’t be the only one suffering, I want someone to share my pain. To suffer just as I do, does that make me evil?

Why do people keep leaving? Every relationship hold close to my heart fails, if death doesn’t take them, I end up showing them how strongly I love and they leave.

I feel as though saying “I love you” is a recipe for disaster.

I let out all my insecurities, blinded by what I felt was love. I never learn, do I? My heart keeps on loving and craving more

If there ever was someone who loves me I’m certain they’ve lost all hope in me.

There are so many beautiful things in life, so many wonderful experiences with love, but they’re not in my life. I only get thorns, heartaches, etc.

Is anyone there? Can you hear me? I’m drowning someone please save me.

Tears rolling down my eyes, I had once again lost someone.

I needed someone and they left. I was obsessed with them.

I wanted every bit of their attention, craved their simple compliments.

I should have gotten used to losing the ones I love.

I just want to run away but I have no place of solace. I keep searching for somewhere love won’t find me, I can’t bear this pain once more.

I build up my walls and lock myself in but once someone comes along they break down these walls, take a walk in hallways and find the version of me that I try to hide.

Someone, please save me