Repairing Broken Friendship

What truly is friendship?

We never want to admit it, but everyone has unrealistic expectations of true friendship and how it's supposed to work.

Not that I don't have my unrealistic expectations. For instance, I expected friends to be there whenever I needed them, failing to understand that my friends have their lives to live.

I have never really put so much thought into friendship until someone said to me, "you don't know how to be a friend,"

This was a harrowing moment for me, and I wrote it down in my diary to constantly remind myself how fucked up that moment was.

But this painful moment led me to write this article.

Like Love, we all have this idea of how a true friendship should go or what a true friend is supposed to do. Social media doesn't help the situation as many of us compare our relationships (friendships) to the picture-perfect company we see online.

All these unrealistic expectations can be pretty damaging to a friendship.

Due to someone's idea of how I didn't know how to be a friend. I started thinking about how much people doubt their friends over unrealistic expectations or misinformed beliefs of who a true friend is.

Which has led me to the conclusion that everyone has a unique idea of what friends should do for each other. Hence most times in a friendship, there are two unique concepts of what friendship entails, and these concepts sometimes don't meet.

So how do you know if someone is truly a friend?

Please do not go on pulling away from the leaves of a flower while saying, "is he my friend, is he not my friend" I've done that; it doesn't work.

But what I've realized throughout my years of living (which is relatively small) is that true friendship is something you can feel. This deep conviction exists and tells you whenever those doubts arise, " they are your friend."

And in times when those convictions don't speak up, search through your memory for all the moments they've shown you how much of a true friend they are.

All these are important for a friendship to work and keep in mind that no one is perfect. So don't compare your companies with whatever bullshit you see on social media.

I used to do that, and I felt even less happy than I thought I could imagine. Doubting friendships and people who love you does take a toll on your mental health.

Got a broken friendship? Here are a few tips that have helped me mend mine:

Apologize: I know everyone talks about how apologizing is the first step to mending relationships. You're probably tired of hearing it, but hear me out before the jury on me.

Apologies go a long way in mending relationships. But not just any apology, but one that is given after you've had time to think about the situation and how much that particular friendship is worth you.

I had this friend to who I stopped talking for a long while, and I couldn't figure out why we stopped talking. So I decided to hit him up, and we got talking.

The conversation went sideways, and at that moment, I was apologizing, but it wasn't well thought out.

What I did was sit back for a few minutes and explain carefully that I was also at fault for our relationship going sideways. I also stated how much he meant to me.

This helped us to move from arguing and instead focus on slowly mending our friendship.

Guess what? We are closer than we've ever been in our moments of knowing each other.

You want to make sure that whatever apology you give out is carefully thought out and adequately does the job of an apology while showing how important the friendship is to you.

N.B. Don't forget to apologize even when it's not your fault so long as it's justifiable.

Show Love: I know we all have our ideas about how a person who loves us is supposed to show their Love.

Showing love is one of the most excellent tips to help mend friendships. And luckily for you, you already know what your friend considers an accurate/heartfelt display of Love.

Sometimes you don't even have to go all out; just a simple gesture that you know they would appreciate can go a long way into mending the relationship.

My way of showing love is by giving gifts, but one of my close friends loves receiving love through touch.

I, for one, don't like contact, but when we had issues, I had to hug it out for like 30 minutes. Yes, 30 good minutes, but it was worth it.

So even if you're not so good at showing love the way they love, wing it, and I'm sure they will feel it.

And luckily for you, if they love food as much as I do, then just an offer of food would do amazing things to their heart.

Finally, not every friendship is meant to last forever, and there are also a lot of fake companies out there.

Still, in the end, it all boils down to living your life to the fullest. So don't let a few friendships mishaps hold you back. Give life your all; I promise you you've got this.

On a final note, when life gives you a lemon, screw life over and get yourself a sweet orange or whatever fruity goodness you like.